Wednesday, May 11, 2011

Yo! Noid - Be an annoying piece of s**t, DIE APPROPRIATELY!


Haha, oh wow. Seriously, I try to watch my language while writing for you guys but this game will freaking hate you for playing it. For those looking at the picture you aren't seeing things. Domino's Pizza used to have a mascot known as "The Noid", and Capcom made a game for him. And yes this game is balls hard because EVERYTHING WILL KILL YOU!

Even in sprite form, I hate the Noid.
I don't know how I got this game as a kid. Did my inner troll pick this out personally? Did I receive this as a gift?! How this game ever ended up in my library is still a mystery that I'm trying to solve. Yo Noid! is a platformer where you play as the Noid and try to survive all the way until the end of the level. Of course, it's 1-hit kills everywhere! Usually I would not have a problem with this, because the challenge doesn't come from the enemies, even they they are irritating in their own way, it actually comes from the BS level design. I never beat this game, but even Rollergames was more reasonable than this game. Just touching the water on the first stage will kill you, not falling in it, just touching it!

If you ever manage to complete the first level (that's instant street cred right there.) then you're treated to a pizza eating contest with the resident champion Noid recolor. It's a card game where you have beat your opponent by choosing a higher number card and eventually consume more pizzas than your opponent. It's a pretty amusing diversion, but it's also pretty easy to win. I played this game before I even knew how to read, and I remember winning every time.

Seriously, F*** this level.
Get to the second level, and that is where I'll just rage quit the entire game. I beat it before, but it's simply infuriating to those who never played it before. It's an ice level, so you have to jump from platform to platform while trying not to slip off and die horribly. Ice levels in video games are always a pain so why is it only the second level?! 

Truly, this game was made to make children cry. You will play it, and you will die. But is this game fun? Oh yes, absolutely. Play it, and you will love it. I'm not lying at all! Nope. Not lying. In fact, you should play the game as soon as possible, I'm not trying to share my pain to others who don't deserve it. Not at all! Here, have a video of the game in action:

27 comments:

  1. Although this game is not familiar to me, NES is and brings back some never dying memories. I whis I could be back in my childhood playing my NES :)

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  2. That game looks abysmal rofl!

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  3. Actually it looks kind of enjoyable

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  4. The pizza eating contest looks really confusing =/ I had no idea what was going on there haha.

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  5. Nes games are classic, I don't know much of this one but great review....Now I do!

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  6. childhood new was amazing.. i remember blowing on the games to get them to work :(, now everything HD and amazing... oh sigh

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  7. oh wow, I remember this game. Never had an NES myself, but I had a friend who did and had this

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  8. I had an NES but never saw this game. Pizza eating contest? lol

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  9. The noid was my third least favorite corporate mascot... Max Headroom was second, and the California Raisins were the first.

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  10. was this one any good? really? He looks like the guy from that show "the Tick"

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  11. Yay a retro game blog, i love it :)

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  12. I haven't played this one, but just reading it makes my blood boil. I do remember these sort of god damn games which would just troll you on an infinite loop being stuck at the same god damn place. And then...when you think you've made it, FUCK NO. Divine intervention and sudden death from some unimportant shit you overlooked. Rage mode; engage.

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  13. nes games are classic but never played this one , looks like DUCK TAILES

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  14. old school and looks totally playable. great review too

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  15. I love games like this, they're fun. :)

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  16. I did not yet get why there is water everywhere.

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  17. Never played this! looks pretty good though

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  18. I never played this one, maybe I was missing out.

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  19. This looks so damn confusing to me... lol. And they misspelled mayor... Ah the good old days of gaming.

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  20. Bunch of old memories came flooding back on this, nice post.

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