Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Roller Games - Be a fat guy on roller skates, fall in manholes, fall off everything!


I still have my NES plugged in, so I decided to play around with it today and enjoy an infuriating game from my childhood.  I'd like to see kids today try Ultra's Rollergames, a classic example of old school difficulty featuring a rather silly premise.  Based on a TV show which only lasted for one season in the late 80s, you are some person on roller skates and you decide take to the streets navigating crazy obstacles and fighting gangs of evil roller skaters....or something like that.  This isn't exactly Final Fantasy here, there's no need for plot!  You'd be dying too often to care!  It also sounds a lot like "DJ Boy"!  Never heard of "DJ Boy"?  I might talk about it sometime down the road then...

Don't slip!
As a kid, I never beat this game, and I certainly haven't beat it now.  Of course, that's not to say the game is impossible, in fact it's actually quite beatable compared to other NES games in the same era.  You got infinite continues, so all you need is perseverance to get through the stages!  In case it wasn't obvious already, you spend the entire game on roller skates, so you can very easily roll off a cliff or fall into a manhole leaving you to restart at the nearest checkpoint.

There are 3 playable characters:  Fat guy on the "T-birds" team,  pink haired girl on the "Hot Flash" team, long haired  80's rocker dude on the "Rockers" team.  Yeah, I'm not even sure they had actual names, but you're not cool unless you picked the fat guy.  It's just hilarious having the guy try to clear gaps, jump over spikes, get stuck in manholes, and just destroy anybody stupid enough to get in his way.   Usually, after certain points in a level you're treated to a combat sequence that plays out similar to other beat-em-ups in the era like "Double Dragon".  Of course, these were the best parts of the game, but it certainly wasn't that involved compared to a game like "River City Ransom".
FFFFFFUUUUUUU--

So, would I recommend this game to you guys?  Probably not.  If you  have a positive outlook on life, I bet you can get quite a few laughs out of the game whenever you miss a jump or die in some silly way.  And even for those rage people, the game wouldn't piss you off that much when every death is knowingly your fault.  It's a pretty average game if I factor in other people's standards, but I enjoyed it as a kid and I still enjoy it now.  It has ome catchy konami tunes coupled with the rollerskating shenanigans so it definitely has charm.  I'll leave a youtube playthrough here for you to ultimately decide if the game is worth your time or not:

Later.

28 comments:

  1. Hilarious. Pretty much how it goes.

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  2. This is probably the best game ever created. And you can quote me on that.

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  3. Lol makes me want to plug in my old NES!

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  4. Haven't seen this one, NES tho, so autamatically good

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  5. that made rollerblades look manly

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  6. I never had this game but it looks fun

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  7. I used to play this a lot. Fond memories.

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  8. that actually doesn't look too bad

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  9. Have I mentioned that I love your blog titles? Yeah? I love your blog titles.

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  10. Haha, i loved when random shit would happen in video games, like falling in holes.

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  11. I 8bit the shit out of this.

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  12. looks like fun...for at least a few minutes

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  13. haha! NES classic! :D Yeah, your blog titles are hilarious!

    cool post, bro

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  14. I'm surprised I have never heard of this game. My NES is collecting dust, I should get on ebay and buy this and a few others and retro out for a few days.

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  15. Hahaha what an idea. Great post!

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  16. lol a fat guy on roller skates falling in manholes

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  17. nice old school games. loved it

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  18. Awesome blog bro, following for more!

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  19. I remember playing this game before

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  20. holy cow gotta try this game....it's like double dragon game play, ninja turtles soundtrack, and mega-man health and item system haha. plus who doesn't wanna kick ass on roller skates?

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  21. Remember this game from I was younger

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  22. I remember this! It seemed impossible at the time lol

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