Yo! Noid - Be an annoying piece of s**t, DIE APPROPRIATELY!

Haha, oh wow. Seriously, I try to watch my language while writing for you guys but this game will freaking hate you for playing it. For those looking at the picture you aren't seeing things. Domino's Pizza used to have a mascot known as "The Noid", and Capcom made a game for him. And yes this game is balls hard because EVERYTHING WILL KILL YOU!

Even in sprite form, I hate the Noid.

I don't know how I got this game as a kid. Did my inner troll pick this out personally? Did I receive this as a gift?! How this game ever ended up in my library is still a mystery that I'm trying to solve. Yo Noid! is a platformer where you play as the Noid and try to survive all the way until the end of the level. Of course, it's 1-hit kills everywhere! Usually I would not have a problem with this, because the challenge doesn't come from the enemies, even they they are irritating in their own way, it actually comes from the BS level design. I never beat this game, but even Rollergames was more reasonable than this game. Just touching the water on the first stage will kill you, not falling in it, just touching it!

If you ever manage to complete the first level (that's instant street cred right there.) then you're treated to a pizza eating contest with the resident champion Noid recolor. It's a card game where you have beat your opponent by choosing a higher number card and eventually consume more pizzas than your opponent. It's a pretty amusing diversion, but it's also pretty easy to win. I played this game before I even knew how to read, and I remember winning every time.

Seriously, F*** this level.

Get to the second level, and that is where I'll just rage quit the entire game. I beat it before, but it's simply infuriating to those who never played it before. It's an ice level, so you have to jump from platform to platform while trying not to slip off and die horribly. Ice levels in video games are always a pain so why is it only the second level?! 

Truly, this game was made to make children cry. You will play it, and you will die. But is this game fun? Oh yes, absolutely. Play it, and you will love it. I'm not lying at all! Nope. Not lying. In fact, you should play the game as soon as possible, I'm not trying to share my pain to others who don't deserve it. Not at all! Here, have a video of the game in action: